Friday, February 29, 2008

Return to the Jade Lady












Tonight, my rents and grands went again went aboard the Jade Lady for the their second cruise. Of course, I again missed the cruise. The first time was my parents wedding cruise (I did the math, I definitely was not on board!). Tonight would be the second. I missed the great food and the cool breezes that can only be had sailing around a tropical lagoon. Oh well, maybe next time. I copy and pasted the description of the cruise from the Sunset Tours website, just to give you an idea of what my rents and grands are denying me:

Our popular Sunset Dinner Cruise operates seven evenings per week, 5:00 PM to 6:30 PM or 7:00 PM (depending on seasonal and weather conditions). Passengers enjoy the magnificent sunsets of Saipan while sailing within and outside Tanapag Harbor. Our entertainer sings in six languages – Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Russian, Tagalog, and English. A fully complemented Angus tenderloin steak, fish fillet, or chicken breast dinner is barbequed on board to assure freshness and quality. A lobster dinner option is also available. Our open bar includes colas, juices, beer, wine, and water. The Sunset Dinner Cruise has become popular with tour agents because of our close attention to quality food control and the personal attention our passengers receive from our Captains, crew, and entertainer. The fantastic views (sunsets, moonrises, stars, island lights, Saipan and Tinian) our passengers get are very interesting and only possible at sea aboard a boat.

Are you as racked with Shakespearian envy as I am! I'm going to fill a diaper in disgust!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Curb Appeal!

Well, I was left at home again while the rents and the grands gallivanted all over the island. This time they went to the Garapan Street Market. From what I can gather, it is where the professional elites and tourists on island meet every week to eat out of styrofoam while sitting in the curb. I've got to say, it does not bode well for me that my parents not only think this is an enjoyable activity, but they would take guests, who happen to be my grands, to such a thing. What's worse, they enjoyed it too, so this condition of needing to slum must be genetic. Oh Crap! Oh well, at least you can get a little taste of island culture, so to speak:

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Wireless Ridge and Hamilton's



Well, today was an eventful day for the Grands. They went to Shirleys and the beach without me in the morning. I GUESS that is o.k., they are early risers and i am no angel of the morning. But, soon they got back to their reason for being, playing with me. We played for several hours until my Dad got home, then I fell asleep and they all left me to go to Wireless Ridge Nursery to check out local plants. After that they went to (xxxxxxxxxxx) to pick up some gifts for folks back home. I was sure to wake up when they got back so they could not leave me again. Finally, I got to go somewhere. We ALL went out to Hamilton's for chow. I had the Surf and Turf, while everybody else had Mexican. Now, is it my imagination, or is Mexican food just different presentations of the same things? Maybe I don't get it, but all Mexican sure seems the same. After that, it was home so everybody could fall asleep. A busy day for all to be sure. Just to mention some other things, my Dad says thank you to everybody who wished him a happy birthday. He said he will call this weekend. And to Linda in Florida, Opa says,"Wish you were here." Personally, I'm just glad your not some crazy who happened onto this site. I can't wait to meet you. I have included a very short video and a pre made video. Watch the one of me first, that way the one of The King will make sense, Enjoy!


Tuesday, February 26, 2008

4:30 is Nap Time in Saipan

Hello, Again,
Well, everything is progressing well with Oma and Opa's trip. Today we went to the beach and the current was strong. Opa said he still enjoyed it though.
Oma is still reading her book from the plane. I really glad this reading thing isn't interrupting our time. It has been raining a fair amount, but that is just fine. In other news, it seems that 4:30 is nap time here, except for Dad and the dog, which nap at other times.
Tonight, we might do something for Dad's birthday. He has convinced most of his kids that he is 128 years old today. Well, I have good information that he is not even close to that old. I'm guessing more like late 50's early 60's.
Mom is still recovering from my birth. She seems to move considerably slower than everyone else, but at least she is moving. It's a good thing I'm such a thin mint, or she might not be moving for a few more weeks.
Well, that's about it. Still no video. Mom has "misplaced" the camera. So, maybe you all can email her and ask her to look a little harder. I will do my best by crying and filling diapers in protest.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Love, Mainland Style

Well, Oma and Opa have been here for a day now and I've got to say, they've really got thier act together as Grands. Oma has been holding me for hours on end, I have to say, I enjoy the service. Opa keeps flattering me with heaps and heaps of compliments. Also, much enjoyed. But, sometimes I wonder if all the adoration is simply due to the fact that I am first? But, then I come to my senses and realize that no, I'm just that awesome! I hope they can stay for a long time. Opa has mentioned setting up shop out here, and starting Lewis Carriers Pacific. I'm not sure how well and over the road trucking company will do on an island that's thirteen miles long. But, he's the businessman, not I. Oma is also considering the move to more tropical locals. But, she is a little concerned about teaching in a place where the articles in sentences are merely an afterthought. But I say, no guts, no glory! Or was that Evel Knievel?
I don't know what we will do tomorrow. Hopefully it will stop raining so we can go to the beach. But, have you ever stopped and wondered, why is rain a reason not to go swimming? Didn't you intend to get wet? Oh well, I don't have to worry about that yet, I don't have enough body fat to float. So, thats about all I have to say today. It's very hard to be long winded when you can only stay awake for 30 minutes at a time. So, until I wake up again. Love to all. -K-

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Opa and Oma are Here! Finally!

Well, they finally got here. All the forces of God and Man could not stop them from seeing me. Now that they are here, we can really begin to sort things out. Like, are they just full of hot air or am I really that important to them? And, If I am, are they ready to hold the awesome responsibility of being my Grands. I want to be able to quantify this, who do I go to when I'm crying, or sleepy, or not sleepy for that matter? That is where you come in. Below this video is the word comments in blue, click on it and leave a message to answer the question asked by today's video.
Love you all.
K

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Finally, BOWIE

I have been requesting and requesting and finally I get a video set to a David Bowie song. I hope you out there somewhere enjoy this song, if not the video (BTW- that is indeed my rump in the freeze frame):

Friday, February 22, 2008

No Oma and Opa!


It seems that Opa and Oma won't be
coming to see me tomorrow. Mom says its a bad weather storm that delayed them. Huhhh? I've seen my share of bad weather already, and on the worst day I have seen the planes still fly! One day here, it was like 75 degrees and raining, oh yeah, and there was some wind too, and the planes kept flying. So I don't want to hear this mamba jahamba about bad weather. Oh yeah, just in case you are curious about the pictures, these are what I imagine Oma and Opa look like from descriptions from Mom, as she has no real pictures of them. The only thing that is missing is the halo around Oma's head as my Mom's descrptions always make her seem angelic. Oh well, we'll see if I'm right soon enough.

Where is the Father?

After Mom's hen session on Wednesday night, Dad is experiencing a little shell shocked, or whatever they are calling it now (post-traumatic stress?). I have seen only passing glances of the man. I can't say that I like this turn of events. I know he can't stand to see or hear me cry but gosh, what a wuss! I had a crew member at Karsten's Blog film this little shot to illustrate. Now, even though I can't remember this particular staffers name (we get a lot of interns to save on cost, who can keep track of them all?), I do admire his camera work. He made this feel like it was filmed on some old Super 8 camera and not the high tech, top of the line digitals we use. Heck, some of us in the bullpen even joked that it looked like he was using a Sony cybershot still camera. Can you imagine? So, he is my homage to 60's home movies and a ode to my Papa. Enjoy!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Early Trama

Tonight Mom went to her Wednesday night Ladies Aid hen session leaving me home alone with my Dad. This is the first time that I have really spent much time alone with Dad and I was really looking forward to it. I showed my interest by keeping my eyes open and not sleeping. Dad decided to read me a book of opposites. You know like big:small, short:tall, to which I would add to the list interesting:that book. So, Dad thought it might be a good idea to do a walk. Not such a good idea. Then, he tried playing with my arms and legs, to which I responded with a sizable bowel movement. Food, nope! I didn't know what I wanted, so Dad tried one more thing that in retrospect made me wish I had stuck with Not Pandering:That Book. He put in this video that I can't believe they would try to pass off as a kids movie. What is wrong with these people? I'll tell you what, you watch the trailer and you be the judge-

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Look at My Sled!


Well, there won't be any video today. Dad went back to work and despite my constant nagging Mom got a little lazy with the camera work. But, that's o.k., I needed a little break from the limelight anyway. Everything is going well here. It has cooled off here considerably, well, the humidity has gone down considerably anyway. Windows are open and air-cons are off. The big news is Oma and Opa are coming in very soon. I am looking forward to seeing them. I have been talking to my fish Filet and Patty and have been telling them they need to behave. They are rather disobedient fish. I've also informed my "sister" Hailey that she will need to ratchet down the goofy dog like behavior for at least the first few days. So, hopefully, I will have all in place for their visit. I hope Opa brings me something cool, like a Bowie knife or a sling shot. Maybe that is too much to hope for (wink, wink, nod, nod). So, thats all for today, Keep your eyes peeled for more video soon.
Your pal in Cyberspace,
K

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Video Production Value: Getting Better / Video Content:: Eeehhhh

Hello from the Land of the Ayuyu. It's Karsten again, but you already know that as you have taken the time to come to my blog, and I thank you for that. Well, on to the reason you are here, pictures of me. Today's video is a gem! Please enjoy! However, you have suggestions for what you would like to see in a video, such as an interview with my fish Patty and Filet, or a video of my "sister" running around the house chasing gecko's, or a detailed video study of a coconut falling from a tree. Anything you want, we here at Karsten's Bog will try to bring it to you. Just leave a comment by clicking the hyperlinked word Comment and typing one in. Now, enjoy todays video:

Monday, February 18, 2008

Love-A-Rama

My Mom and Dad have been exposing me to a lot of music. My dad has been playing for me music of his people, Wagner, Bach, Beethoven, Mendelssohn, Strauss, etc, etc. Mom has also been playing me the music of her people, Bluegrass. Now, say what you want, but bluegrass has three advantages over Germanic high culture. One, its never been used to promote an ethos of superiority. Two, it's all AMERICAN, and nobody is more American that me, with the possible exceptions of John Wayne and Superman (Yes, to all those Republican's out there, I know Superman was an illegal immigrant but nobodies perfect). Three, with the exception of Jazz, it is the only modern music form that a musician can display virtuosity.
But, unfortunately for my parents, the apple is already rolling away from the tree. I don't know what I will prefer tomorrow, but today I like me some Rockabilly. So, sit back, relax, and listen to the sweet strains of Love-A-Rama:

Sunday, February 17, 2008

8 Pounds Of Fury!


Now , just in case you get the wrong idea about the the following video, I'm not some sissy momma's boy. I am 8 pounds of fury ready to open up a can of .... well, you get the point, there are ladies who read this. I've included these pop icons of manhood just so you could have a small idea of what I'm talkin' about. These two, PUNKS! I raise my hand to look at the time and these two candy boys would run crying. Believe it! Now, enjoy the video:

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Opa, Hurry! That thing is trying to eat me!
















O.k., I know my parents would never feed me to this thing. But, would somebody talk to my mother and tell her to stop calling this thing my sister. Its big, hairy, has a mouth full of sharp teeth, it smells, and I can articulate more verbally already than this thing, and I can't control my voice yet. Will somebody explain to her that this thing is not even human, I think, so it can't be my sister! Or, better yet, a genetics test, that would be good. Somebody go out and buy a home genetics test from Wal-Mart and send it to us. Oh yes, and one more thing, if you watched the sleeping video and it was 16 seconds long, watch it again. We had some technical difficulties before, but all is well now!

I'm Only Sleeping (for Oma)

The following is a video of me sleeping; that's it! Now, if you are sure that you have seen enough of babies sleeping, don't watch it. At the end you'll be saying, what a waste of time, that was just you sleeping. That is oh so very rational of you. Congratulations for your complete mastery of the mundane!
However, on the other hand, if you would like to see another being experiencing pure ataraxia, by all means, watch this video. Hopefully you find it cathartic with just a little hedonism. And, maybe, possibly Transcendental?

Friday, February 15, 2008

My First Day

I apologize for the abrupt end to this video, but due to the time restrains of 70's radio, the song we wanted to use was too short for anything longer. Also, please disregard any typos as Dad only has one hand to use to type, the other is holding me while I dictate this. So, here you go, my first video:

Thursday, February 14, 2008

I'm Here!

I am 8 pounds 6 ounces, 22.5 inches long, with a full head of red hair. I Am Awesome!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Busy Being Born

Well, we are back at the hospital again, but this time its all about me! Today, we are the only patients in the Labor and Delivery ward of the CHC hospital. Which, to be quite honest, is strange on an island where somebody would look at a Mormon and ask, "Why such a small family?" Anyway, it is my time and I'll leave you with this thought from Dylan (Bob not Thomas). He not busy being born, Is busy dying. He couldn't be more right!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Off to the hospital we go......

So, our little family headed to the hospital today! On my due date... But it wasn't Mommy and me who needed the attention. It was Daddy. He had some bad chicken wings from Pizza Hut last night. The doctors gave him stuff to drink through his veins, kinda like how I eat now. He's really not feeling well, and Mommy says I have to do my part by staying put a few days more. I'll see how well I can obey them. I haven't listened to them so far, why should I start now?

Monday, February 11, 2008

And the Winner is.....

Auntie Beth is the winner of the Guess My Birthdate? contest by virtue of being the only entrant. The Gindt Family of Ames, Iowa will be getting the first phone call just after I am born. As for the rest of you, you will be hearing from us, you know, when we get around to it. Some of you may recognize this photo, it is of the Gindt family from the recent Gap for Funerals ad.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Bright light city gonna set my soul, gonna set my soul on fire

Yes, The King said it all when he said the immortal words Viva Las Vegas. You may wonder, Karsten, why are you mentioning Sin City when you won't even be welcomed for another 21 + years. Well, I mention it because of the plus. As you can all see to the left, the Karsten Kountdown Ticker is quickly approaching ZERO, and that is sending the bookmakers and gamblers of Vegas into a frenzy of activity. It seems my imminent birth has already been the subject of a lot of money changing in the Vegas temples of chance. It is not too much of a secret that Diane Lang lost A LOT of money over the pre-term contraction scare. But, you need not lose your gambling cash you keep in the glove compartment of your car to get in on the action (Sorry Uncle Joe, was that a secret?). Just leave a post on when you think I am coming. It is simple to do, just click comment at the end of this post, and make a guess and leave your name as well. The person closest to the actual day and time will get the first e-mail (if we have yours that is) or phone call (ditto). Just think, you would be the first person not in the hospital to know, isn't that worth the time to leave a guess? And just think, that may give you just enough time to place a on line bet before Vegas finds out!

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Say what you will about National Socialism, but it is a powerful teaching tool.

As a fetus, one has a lot of time to think. For the last several days, I have been considering Irony. I just couldn't imagine a situation in which the intended meaning was the opposite of the actual meaning, until yesterday. In my classroom, Mom made her students repeat these sentences word for word after they were mindlessly parroting their classmates' wrong answers:
Mom: I want you to repeat after me, I am not a parrot
Kids: I am not a parrot
Mom: I will not repeat after others
Kids: I will not repeat after others
Mom: I will use my own brain
Kids: I will use my own brain
Mom: I have my own thoughts and my own answers
Kids: I have my own thoughts and my own answers

It was awesome! It was like listening to a Leni Riefenstahl film and my Mom was the star! Oh wow, I just used sarcasm for the first time and I understand irony. I am having a good day!


Friday, February 8, 2008

Sorry Walter!

As it turns out, Walter Cronkite is not dead, and he is a big fan of Karsten's Blog. We were pleased to hear the news of him not being dead from the man himself. Here is a transcript of that conversation received at the Karsten2008 World Headquarters.
______________________
staff: Hello, this is the Karsten 2008 Headquarters and Baba Bar-B -Que, this is *******, how can I help you?
Mr Cronkite: Good Evening *******, I would like to speak to Karsten please.
staff: I'm sorry, you see, Karsten is a fetus
and can't speak on the phone.
Mr. Cronkite: Well, just put the phone up to the mother's uterus, I have a message for him.
staff: I'm sorry, but neither Her Majesty (that's what they call Mom in the office when she isn't there, heehee) nor Karsten is available at the moment, can I take a message.
Mr. Cronkite: Well then, I suppose, please pass along to Karsten that I am not dead, and if I ever see his little behind I am personally going to Bend It Like Beckham about twenty or thirty paces, and that's the way it is.
staff: Well, Mr........
Mr Cronkite: Cronkite, Walter Cronkite.
staff: Well, Mr. Cronkite is it? I'll be sure to pass that message along. Is there anything else?
Mr Cronkite: No, that's all. But you sound cute, . . .
________________________________________________________________________________
The rest of the message is personal, and to be quite honest, a little graphic. But, rest assured, that type of behavior is promoted only sightly at Karsten's Blog.

Friday Very Late Edition

Sorry, I am not the reincarnation of Walter Cronkite (he is dead, right?). I guess I am not to be relied on to report fair and accurately and in a timely manner. So, those of you who missed my blog today, I apologize. But, be rest assured, we will be back tomorrow better that ever (not like the bar is set that high). And that's the way it is!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Carabao Farts!

I heard this one at the clinic yesterday, enjoy:

A mainland midwife is walking past the hospital staffroom, when she hears two Chamorro doctors talking, "I'm telling you it's wumba: W-U-M-B-A," says the first.
"No. It's woombaa: W-O-O-M-B-A-A," says the second.
"No, no, no. Wumba: W-U-M-B-A," says the first again.
At this the nurse pops her head through the door, "I think you'll find, gentlemen, it's WOMB: W-O-M-B."
The two doctors look blankly at her, until one of them says, "Madam. I doubt if you've ever even SEEN a carabao, let alone heard one fart in a mud pool."

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Boonie Dogs and My Health


As my date of birth quickly approaches, I been pondering some things, as you know if you've been reading my blog. Today, I wondered, will I be allergic to the flea bag my parents insist on keping in our house? According to the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology, allergies to dogs or cats occur in approximately 15% of the population. But, the Academy also says that there are steps to take lesson my chances of an allergy:
  • We spend from one third to one half of our time in our bedrooms. By keeping the animals out of the bedrooms at all times, we can greatly reduce the symptoms of pet allergies. (No chance of that, that nipper has been at the foot of the bed all its life)
  • Install a good "HEPA" air cleaner. (Check)
  • Close the ducts to the bedrooms and use electric heaters. (No problems there, no heaters)
  • Clean and vacuum regularly. (Check)
  • Bathe your pet weekly. (Check and Check)
  • Do not allow your pet on the furniture. (No chance of this happening, the dog can jump over the couch without touching it, you can't keep her off of anything)
  • Do not allow your pet in your car. Or use car seat covers when your pet is in the car. (Good, I don't want to ride with drools a lot anyway)
  • Brush your pet daily and use an allergy-reducing spray such as Allerpet. ( Say what? Where to I find that on an isalnd that doesn't have fresh milk?)
  • Keep your pet's skin healthy by feeding a good multivitamin and a fatty acid supplement. (Check)
  • Encourage the pet to spend more time outdoors. (Yes, absolutely)
  • Wash your hands after handling the pet, his toys, bed, etc. (Or where gloves when handling me)
  • See your physician and discuss possible immunotherapy or medications. (Or, leave the dog on the other side of the island)

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Is Life Mundane?

mun·dane (mŭn-dān', mŭn'dān') adj.
  1. Of, relating to, or typical of this world; secular.
  2. Relating to, characteristic of, or concerned with commonplaces; ordinary
You know, it's quite amazing what I can hear in here. I can hear dogs barking, people talking, children playing. But, you know, I am hearing the same things over and over again. Oh yes, I hear the occasional Wagner or a bird singing, but nothing that out of the ordinary.No shouting, shooting, swearing, nothing exciting. Which leads me to this question, is life really this mundane? If so, I'm in no hurry to greet it, unless somebody can convince me otherwise. Why do you think life is not mundane? Let me know

Monday, February 4, 2008


What do Motown and I have in common. No, not the moniker voice of a generation (not yet at least). A driving, infectious beat? No, we both have over 1000 hits. Yep, today I went over the wall of 1000 people on my blog. I think this kind of momentous day calls for some grand act on my part, so keep looking. In fact, if you haven't bookmarked or added my blog to your favorites what ya waitin' for?

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Our house is on the corner of the block, not in the middle of our street.

I'm learning a lot about how my mind will work one day from my Mom and Dad. Wait, let me back this up a little bit. You see, for the past several days, my parents have been walking around a lot in some lame attempt to get me to come out early. I'm on to that plan, and I'm hangin' tough Opa. Anyway, they are walking a lot, mostly near the house as Mom is moving as fast as a slug in molasses in January (look at me, I'm combining similies, and at such a young age). So, lots of trips around the block, almost.

You see, our block dead ends into jungle, so you can't actually walk around the block, so see have been treading a u shape. While discussing this unusual route one night my parents began commiserating about how hard it is to teach geography to kids that have little to no idea about city blocks, street signs, etc, etc, etc (to be explained in another blog). Then, my father got off on a tangent about how he even had a hard time explaining to kids about where we live, two blocks from school and how adults here really can't comprehend those verbal directions either. Then the topic came up about water bottle delivery (also another topic for another blog) and how my Dad couldn't explain that our house was on the corner of the block, because the concept of city blocks just doesn't exist in Oceania outside of Australia and New Zealand. Then came the weird connection, he said that it should be easy to find our house because it is on the corner, and the other house on the block is on the other corner with no house in the middle of our street.

That is when my father had an ephipany. "Oh, that's what that Madness song means", he said like he had just discovered the cure for cancer or how to make an everlasting gobstopper. "They don't mean the house is literally in the middle of the street, they mean it is half way down the block. Wow, how did it take me this long to figure that out, like 25 years, did you know that?." To which my Mom responded, "Yeah, Duh, I think everybody got that but you!" Then my Dad went to to explain that he felt like it was the time when he was 18 that my Aunt Maggie had to explain that "Relax" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood was a blue song (btw, Aunt Maggie, can you e-mail me about that one, he really didn't go into details).

So you see, isn't funny how the adult mind works. Things that are somewhat random are connected in the most unusual ways. Or, maybe my father is just a little cracked, who knows? Anyway, I will let you decide for yourself, I have included the song "Our House" in a player at the end of the post, just in case you've had better things to do in the last 26 years than listen to watered down ska music from England.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Wind ! Not air con in my hair!

It will not be too long and I will be amongst you all, so some things have been weighing heavy on my mind. Here is one of those things. As conceded as it sounds, I worry about my rep riding in my mom's car, a lame Toyota Camary. Now, if your one of the every, what, one in two people in the world who drive one of these loaves of white bread on wheels; I'm sure it's fine for you. But me, I'm a go for broke, hair on fire kind of guy. The idea of spending my first days in the latter day grocery getter gives me chills up and down my little spine. So, I was thinking, how about the motorcycle? My dad rides a dirt bike, maybe I'll ride that as well. But, as my libertarian brothers and sisters know, the Orwellian hand of government is up in all of our collective businesses and I have to spend my first years strapped into a government approved car jail. But, I think I might have found a loophole, a child bike seat! I think that my dad, with what limited mechanical skills he has, can jerry rig a bicycle seat. If not, Opa Lewis is coming and can do it for me, as I'm sure he sees the absolute brilliance of this plan. I've posted a picture of what I am talking about. Now, remember, this will be on a motorcycle much like the one shown, not the lame bicycle in the photo. By the way, if my dad starts to wear boat shoes and white socks like this joker in the bicycle picture, I'm fully expecting my Uncles Dwayne, Matt, and Aaron to come enforce to save me years of embarrassment. Now, I'm thinking that this plan to have a bicycle seat on the dirt bike is like killing two birds with one stone. One, I don't have to be subjected to the suburban express and I get to feel the wind in my hair. And, occasionally, we will take a sweet jump off a ramp, ala my new fetal idol, Evil Knievel. So, if you have any comments or suggestions on how we can make this happen, please leave a comment.

Friday, February 1, 2008

UMMM! Artificial Preservatives

You know what I can't wait for, BACON, that's right, BACON!. You see, when you are on total life support, like me, you don't really get a choice of what you eat. Mom has made it her grand crusade to avoid anything with sodium nitrite or sodium nitrate, as they can be converted in her stomach to a powerful carcinogen. So, I get no bacon, sausage, hot dogs, pepperoni, frozen prepackaged food, or just about anything else that the miracle of refrigeration could provide. I hope I won't have to wait too long! Maybe Dad can find a nice pig fat flavored pacifier or just buy me a pig to gnaw on.